The Formosa Café

The Formosa Café. For those of you who do not know, The Formosa is a Hollywood Legend. It is part of “Old Hollywood” and deemed a cultural landmark. It is a place that many stars of the Golden Era of Hollywood frequented. Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart. But it is not a fancy, haughty place. It is just a really cool bar with decent food.

January 2001. I am out for drinks with a group of people. Now, please note my terminology. I am not out with a group of friends. Someone I know through work put together a drinks night and invited me. I know a few of the people there, but am not particularly close to any of them except for my friend Greg whom I brought along.

It is a Friday night and the place is pretty packed. And guess who walks in by himself... Martin Landau. I had just finished working on a mini-series called Haven which he had starred in and had not yet aired. So I go up to him and say, “Papa Gruber, how are you? How is Ruthie? Is she still up in Oswego? We all got so nervous when we heard she was going to Europe. But we were so proud of her to stand up to President Truman.”

At first he is confused. The movie had been shot in Canada six months prior. I came on after shooting ended. After a minute he realizes that I am addressing him as the character and talking about the events in the movie. I explain that I worked on the movie. Martin replies, “I hope you haven’t seen the movie.” Which I found perplexing. Maybe he thought I was a studio executive since he didn’t remember me from the shoot.

I reply, “Well actually, I worked in the editing room. So I have seen the film more times than I can possibly count.” He seems to find that answer satisfactory. But here is the interesting part. It is a bar and it is noisy so it is a situation that many of us have probably been in where you have to shout at the top of your lungs so the person standing next to you can hear.

But Martin Landau was already a septuagenarian so maybe that was beyond his capabilities. When he talks to me, he leans over and speaks right into my ear. When you have a conversation with someone, especially someone you do not know, you tend to look at their face and in their eyes as they speak. But I couldn’t do that. So the natural rhythm of conversation is thrown out of whack.

I am already a little nervous, a little buzzed, and his speaking in my ear discombobulates me. So I have a mental whiteout. I can’t think of a thing to say. Nor can I recall of the name of a single film he has been in.

In my experience, famous people enjoy accolades, but they don't really want to have a conversation with a stranger. When they are out in public, they are doing something and want to get on with their lives. So I try to be brief and release them. Next thing I know Martin is rambling on telling me that Steve McQueen was his best friend at the Actor's Studio, that he dated Marilyn Monroe, and that he has a production company and they are producing a sequel to Easy Rider.

He starts talking about Mission: Impossible and leans into my ear and says, "You're probably too young to know this, but a lot of the technology in the show didn't exist at the time." Now, I am an educated man. I have a liberal arts degree from a top University. My IQ is ranked to be in the top 2%. I have some knowledge of history (including technology) from before I was born. So I assume he is making some larger point and just say, "Uh-huh."

Martin then says to me, "I just said, 'You're too young to know this.' So your response shouldn't have been, 'Uh-Huh.' It should have been, 'Oh?'." I have never had anyone dictate to me what my response should be. Are we doing improv or having a conversation?

At this point my mental whiteout turns into total deer in the headlights. I have no idea how to respond. The idea of defending myself and explaining that I am more of an intellectual than most people he meets doesn't enter my mind. At that moment nothing was in my head. But I can see that at that moment, Martin writes me off. As a scene partner, I wasn't giving him what he wanted.

At this point a couple comes up and say to Martin that they would love to buy him a drink and I was saved. When I return to my group everyone was floored, “You, were talking to Martin Landau for ten minutes! What the heck were you talking about?” were repeated over and over again by all the people.

I replied by telling my Haven/Papa Gruber story and continued, “Then he just started talking to me. I couldn’t shut the guy up!”

My friend Greg said, “Did you bring up Coppola?” At the time we were both working on a film that he was producing and had just met him. But I didn’t understand what he meant. Greg reminded me that Martin’s comeback was getting nominated for an Oscar in Tucker: The Man and his Dream. Damn! Lost opportunity because of my whiteout. Looking around the bar Martin had moved on from the couple that had saved me and was already yammering away to some other fans who were clamoring to pay their respects.

Landau has had a strange career. He has been in films as varied as North by Northwest as well as The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island. He has been on top and at the bottom. Monroe, McQueen, and Hitchcock are all dead. So I ask, why do you think a 72 year old Academy Award Winner goes to a classic Hollywood hotspot ALONE on a Friday night?

I may not have impressed Martin. But that night to that group of assistant editors – I was the man.

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