Double Bill

Have you ever heard of the term “a four quadrant film”? I have never heard this term in all my years working in Hollywood. But I read an article that referred to it. Apparently it is a term used by marketing guys. It refers to males under and over the age of 25 and females with the same age division. Those are the four basic demographics they market for. Obviously a film like “The Devil Wears Prada” is skewed towards women. “Away We Go” is skewed towards adults. And a film like “Up” hits all four boxes.

I have never believed in this type of categorization. I like to think that I am a relatively well educated, intelligent, and cosmopolitan person. I have a wide variety of tastes and interests. When people ask me what my favorite film is, my stock answer is, “It’s a tie between Casablanca and Rambo: First Blood Part II.” While that is a rather glib answer, it is mostly the truth.

A few years ago I saw an Ad in LA Weekly for a Concert by Itzhak Perlman at the Walt Disney Concert Hall. I immediately snatched up tickets and called the woman I was attempting to woo at the time. I realized that only two months earlier I had been to my last concert. Ice T and Body Count.

Both were amazing concerts. I still remember being in the front right when Ice-T was about to launch into the last number in the encore. I was screaming “Momma’s Gotta Die Tonight.” Ice was about to say something and shortly after I screamed out my request, he shifted gears and said, “Okay, I think I’m gonna close with an ode to my mother.”

In the middle of the Perlman concert, the fire alarm went off. People started to get up to leave. But after a minute it stopped. False Alarm. Then Itzhak started cracking jokes. You could see that part of him wanted to be a comedian.

My point is that life is a cultural pastiche that ranges from the sublime to the ridiculous. One minute I’ll be quoting Shakespeare, the next Bugs Bunny. And that is something that living in a major metropolitan area like Los Angeles can feed. The greatest thing about LA is that you can structure your life to be whatever you want. You can have the white picket fence and the dog named Spot in the Valley or south bay. You can be a starving artist in the dregs of Hollywood. You can be a bohemian artist in a loft downtown, or have a glamorous pristine life in Beverly Hills. Or if you are lucky you can sample different bits of these lives when you want.

I still remember my greatest night in Los Angeles. I had just finished working on a Hallmark movie. The premiere was at the DGA on Sunset Blvd. near West Hollywood. It was a cute romantic comedy. The screening started around 7PM and there was a reception with food afterwards. I hung out with some of the people I had worked with and it was fun chatting with them again.

I leave around 9:30PM. I decide to take Sunset west to where I live (by the shore). I pass by the famous Whiskey-a-Go-Go. I remembered that The Rollins Band was playing that night. I wanted to go to the show, but ultimately decided it was more important to be at the premiere. I look at my watch. It’s still pretty early. Right then a parking spot opens up on Sunset Blvd. I take it as a sign of providence.

I pull in. Right in front of the Whiskey is a guy scalping a ticket at face value. I buy it and walk in. About ten seconds after I cross through the doors, Rollins takes the stage. A half an hour ago I was at a Hollywood Premiere for a sad and weepy Hallmark movie where Peter Gallagher gets cancer and Mary Louise Parker portrays his wife. Now I am head slamming to Punk Rock music on the Sunset Strip. Two great tastes that shouldn’t taste great together. Sort of like eating an In-N-Out Burger and washing it down with Dom Pérignon. Actually, that sounds good. I have to make a mental note to try that sometime. But it definitely was a “two quadrant” night.

That’s the kind of double bill that doesn’t interest simple minded people who only have one set of tastes. But it is also the kind of double bill that you can’t do in Kansas City (where Hallmark Cards is based). That’s why I love living in Los Angeles.

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