Rejection Never Felt So Good

Spring 2007. I am at a party. Not a House Party. Not a Frat Party. Not a Cocktail Party. Nor a Dinner Party I am at a Hollywood Party. It’s a fundraiser at a swanky house in the Hollywood Hills. Out of the corner of my eye I recognize someone and do a double take.

It’s Jessica Biel. She saw my head turn and looks right at me. Dammit. She noticed me noticing her – so now I have to acknowledge it. I quickly decide to made a joke out of it.

“No. No. No. It’s not what you think.” I say, “I’m working on the Sony Lot and down the hall from me is the music editor for that new Adam Sandler movie you’re in. So whenever I go to the bathroom or get coffee, I see your face on the TV monitor in his room almost every day!”

“And here I am in person.” She replies with a big smile. I was surprised. I had to pull something outta my ass real quick and felt my idea was pretty bad as the words were coming out of my mouth. That must be the same reaction she gets all the time from fans who are used to seeing her on TV. But she doesn’t seem phased.

So we start chatting. And she is surprisingly down to earth. I ask her where she grew up and we chat for a bit about Colorado. She was extremely honest and forthright about which of her co-stars she liked and disliked. In fact, her candor slightly shocked me. There is no sense of pretention or being lost in a hermetically sealed bubble. Which is doubly shocking.

Stars tend to put up walls around them. They don’t know why someone is talking to them. I could be interested in her only because she is famous. I could be trying to use her. I could be slightly insane and think I am talking to one of the characters the she has played. Extremely beautiful women also keep people at bay. They are so used to getting hit on by every horny guy that some get weary. She is both and I only feel vibrant friendliness.

Something I didn’t realize at the time (and don’t really know if it affected how I reacted to her)... but I had never seen any of Jessica’s movies or her TV show. I only knew of her. None of the characters she had ever played were influencing my perception of her. So I was able to react to her with a clean slate.

The host of the party tries to get everyone’s attention to make an announcement and our conversation ends. A little later I am looking over items in a silent auction. One of them is to go to a movie premiere with Jessica Biel. As I am looking at it, I hear, “You should bid on that.” I turn around and it’s Jessica.

Now the reality is that I don’t want to bid on it. But I can’t say that. So I make another bad joke, “Oh, I don’t know, the paparazzi sees us out together and your boyfriend gets upset and beats the crap out of me. I don't think so.”

She smiles and says “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Now under certain circumstances this could be a signal from her. But my spider-senses are not tingling. Also, while Jessica is a very attractive woman, she doesn’t really Rodger my Hammerstein. When I met Amy Adams by comparison, her beauty was so radiant it nearly melted my eyeballs. Hey, we all have different tastes. I tend to be attracted to highly educated career women and not date women in the entertainment industry (there is more to life than music, movies, and TV). I don’t really get caught up in the cult of personality.

So once again, I make a joke out of it, “What? You’re single? That’s a crime against humanity!”

“It’s been a year now.” (She was referencing Chris Evans).

“Hasn’t your publicist been setting you up on dates with hot young Hollywood Hunks?”

“Yeah. She’s tried, but you know how things work out.”

I am rambling a bit and hyperbolizing my shock. I rapidly spit out, “I would ask you out, but I’m only below the line so I know you would never go for a guy like me. But there must be a line of successful, wealthy men who will treat you right.” Actually, I did not get all those words out.

Jessica is sharp as a razor blade and didn’t miss a beat. No sooner were the words “ask you out” out of my lips before she gently put her hands on my arm and cut me off while I was saying “Below the line.”

“It’s not that. But I did just start seeing someone and I kinda like him.”

I switch gears and down shift into a more serious mood. “Okay, that makes sense. So you’re ‘dating’ someone but he hasn’t moved up to the label of ‘boyfriend.’”

“Yeah. That’s about right.”

“Okay, that is okay. That makes sense. No crime there.” The conversation fizzles and she walks away. I didn’t know it at the time, but she was talking about Justin Timberlake.

While walking away, I replay what just happened in my mind and realize something. I just got rejected by Jessica Biel. However, I never really asked her out. But if you are going to get passed up for someone else... JT is formidable competition. We all have days where we are off our game and every guy gets shot down at some point. I got shot down by one of the most desirable females on the planet. Rejection never felt so good.

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